


Be All My Sins Remembered

by Diary



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Incredible Hulk (2008)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bechdel Test Pass, On Hiatus, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags May Change, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 13:57:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18389789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diary/pseuds/Diary
Summary: AU. Against his better judgement, Director Bruce Banner ends up signing notorious actor Tony Stark to his newest film. WIP.





	Be All My Sins Remembered

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own anything within the MCU.

The problem with being friends with actors, Bruce Banner reflects, is the fact they can lure you into thinking their offer to get lunch in order to catch up will, in fact, be followed by a nice lunch spent catching up.

In fairness, after having known Natasha Romanov for almost fifteen years, he’ll be the first to admit he should have known better. As much as she’ll protest otherwise, she’s developed something of a habit of rescuing the careers of talented but troubled thespians from obscurity, and though one good film under him isn’t going to immediately re-launch any careers, it can be used for a stepping stone to obtaining bigger roles under more influential directors.

“C’mon, Bruce.” Twirling her fork so that the noodles wrap around them, Nat gives him a small smile. “He’s been clean for eighty days.”

“Good for him. I mean that sincerely. But there’s no way in hell I’m ever signing him to any of my projects.”

“Even with what little I know about the character, I doubt you’d find anyone to embody the role as perfectly as him.”

“That’s acceptable to me. I will find someone who didn’t publicly humiliate me, hasn’t written thousand-word diatribes about my career, and isn’t notorious for making their co-workers miserable.”

“I’ll personally vouch for him being on his best behaviour.”

“I hope whoever you do the vouching to doesn’t end up regretting it. Moreover, I hope you don’t.”

She sighs. “He needs a second chance, Bruce.”

“This would be his third or fourth,” he points out. “He’s supposedly cleaned up his act before, and look how he repaid the people who gave him those, frankly, unearned chances.”

After a stretch of silence, she quietly says, “There are things I can’t tell you, but there’s some heavy stuff. You helped me when no asked you to, when I was basically nobody to you. Now, I’m the only one asking for him.”

“Nat- Let’s face it, even if there was no heavy stuff, he’d still be an asshole. You know that not every addict is a good person who only acts out when they’re losing the battle.”

“I’m not denying he’s an asshole. Trust me, there are days when I want to kick him out a window. But he’s sincere this time, and I really believe he can make it.”

“Then, find another director to get this chance for him. At the risk of being an asshole myself, aside from the fact I like and respect you, there wasn’t as big a risk to me back when I helped you. I have kids on set, Natasha. It’s questionable whether I could even get him insured, and even if I did sign him and he did his job without any scandals on set or off, my reputation could take a serious, possibly un-salvageable dive when he does or says something else later on. And all that is ignoring, after what he’s done to me, what do you think it’d look like, me signing him? Desperation.”

“I’m not desperate. It gets to a point I can’t direct anymore, I have a rich background in science and a genius IQ. I’ll find something else to support myself with.”

Finishing her food, she wryly comments, “You didn’t like or respect me back then.” She catches his eyes. “Do you think he’s playing me?”

Looking down at his own plate, he considers how to best answer before looking back up. “You have good judgement when it comes to such things. And hey, it’d be great if you were right about him making it. I’m not trying to dissuade you from helping him, but our friendship isn’t enough to make me risk so much for a person I don’t believe deserves it.”

A sad smile crosses her face, and nodding, she chuckles slightly. “Yeah. Well, I knew it was a long shot. Is there any chance sending you his most recent dailies might change your mind? I know you don’t care about box office numbers, but I’m telling you, Bruce, even with him being at such a low point in his career, he’d have theatres packed the very first week.”

“I care about box office numbers. I just don’t waste my time chasing after them.”

Of course, there’s always a thrill when his movies do well in theatres, but- plain and simple, he’s lucky. People have given opportunities he knows he hasn’t done anything to truly earn, and he started his career at around the same time the internet was becoming wide-spread. He was more concerned with getting DVDs of his movies to libraries and making it easy and cheap for people to buy digital copies. He’s never particularly cared about downloads from unauthorised sources unless someone’s making money off making them accessible.

Somehow, he’s managed to almost always get good actors and actresses, and when America implemented something similar to the Public Lending Right in England a few years, he suddenly found himself with enough extra money to significantly expand his production company.

“Besides, if there’s one thing I don’t need to be convinced of it’s how great an actor Tony Stark is.”

…

A few days after his lunch with Natasha, he’s reading through a contract as a set is being built when Daisy Johnson, one of the editors, bounces outside. “Today isn’t going to be a good day for you. I’m actually going out for lunch later, and if you want, I could bring you a fruit smoothie or some cake back.”

His first thought is something has happened to some footage or her equipment, but he quickly realises she’d be more on the freaking out spectrum of things and less on the sympathetic end if either were the case.

“What’s going on?”

She hands him her phone, and watching the four minute video, part of him wishes she were negatively emotionally impacted by this. For all she’s generally a nice person, she has a tendency to be creatively sadistic when anything metaphorically gets her back against the wall.

“Right, thanks for telling me.” Handing the phone back, he takes off his glasses. “Maybe, this will stay quiet for-”

“It’s viral, Bruce.”

“Of course, it is,” he mutters.

“So, I could bring you something?”

“No, thank you.”

She disappears, thankfully, without expressing her appreciation of everything wonderful about Tony Stark, and he considers calling Natasha.

…

Natasha shows up to his office after lunch. “I had nothing to do with it.”

“I know.”

She sits down. “What’d you think?”

“He uploaded an audition tape for a role- tell me, does his arrogance know any bounds? What exactly was he hoping to achieve by this? Force me to give him the role because the general public is clamouring for it?”

“His arrogance has very few bounds,” she wryly comments. “In this case, though- he wanted you to see it, Bruce. It’s really as simple as that. He knew emailing it to you or even people close to you probably wouldn’t work. I’ve been trying to convince him to take milder steps, but he’s convinced getting this role will help him get his life back on track.”

Trying not to scoff, he steels himself. “I don’t want to do anything to hurt you, Natasha, but I might be at a point where I go after him. He’s not going to force my hand. If I have to make a public statement saying, ‘No, Tony Stark absolutely isn’t going to be involved in any way, shape, or form with my movie,’ I will.”

“It’s not fair to everyone else working on it, I know, you don’t need to tell me. I do that, and it’s a guaranteed flop. Careers could suffer. But-”

Tony Stark is a menace who should have been tossed in prison years ago, is something it’s apparently not in good taste to say about someone who had an extremely public breakdown, and he does genuinely wish _that_ had never happened. There’s no one alive who deserves such a thing, and along with his acknowledgement of Tony’s talents, he will say Tony has shown remarkable strength in the aftermath.

Nothing, however, will convince him the drugs and alcohol made Tony sadistically cruel. They weren’t responsible for him attacking people who’d never done anything to him.

Maybe, Tony’s home life growing up did play a part, but as someone who came from an abusive home himself, he has no sympathy or empathy for victims turned abusers, especially when they had more privilege and opportunity than most people could even dream of.

“Yeah,” she softly says. “He still hasn’t exactly learned about consequences. Maybe this will get through to him.”

“I doubt it.”

“Hey.” She catches his eyes. “I’m not going to let him ruin this for you. It won’t flop.”

“There’s never any guarantees. And if it does, I can’t prove it was because of him. Just- try to do something to dissuade him, Natasha. From this. I’m glad you’re helping him, and it would be great if he could get better. But I don’t have any responsibility to help him. He’s never done anything good for me, and I’ve never done anything to him.”

“Well.” She shifts. “You were nice to him once. I don’t think he’s ever forgotten that.”

“If he thinks this is some sort of repayment, he’s past arrogant into bizarrely narcissistic.”

“He’s been bordering on bizarrely narcissistic long before this happened.”

Trust Nat to make him laugh even when everything is falling apart.

“You doing okay?”

“Yeah. I’ll be fine. Heard from Clint lately?”

Despite her sigh, her eyes are warm and bright. “He’s causing me more stress than Tony is. He refuses to acknowledge he’s getting too old to keep doing stunt-work. Paula Evans has offered him a three-year contract as head stunt coordinator, and if a forged signature would bind him to that-” She shrugs.

“No hospitalisations recently, though?”

“No. Thank goodness.”

“Hey, you’ve always managed to talk him around in the past.”

Making a small sound, she nods. “Bruce, I’m not trying to change your mind, but is there anything that would make you reconsider signing Tony? Anything you make, I’ll have a ticket for, but in all honesty, even with my disinterest in superhero movies, that audition tape might have swayed me.”

“You really don’t need to keep pouring money into my movies, Natasha.”

“When I’m in jail for forging Clint’s signature, you either find me a top-notch lawyer and pay my bail, or I’m selling every DVD you’ve ever signed.”

“As if he’d ever press charges.”

“True. Still, I’m liable to end up in jail again one day, and even if it is completely my own fault, I expect you to take my side until I’m safely out.”

“You know I would. In answer to your question, however, no. It’s not a question of how good he is.”

“Talent-wise, you mean. People can change, Bruce.”

“That’s debatable. You’ve always been a good person, Nat. You have your addiction under control right now. Tony, addiction or not, is always going to be a wildcard. I can’t help being somewhat linked to him due to everything he’s thrown at me in the past, but I’m not willingly going to enter a professional relationship with him. There’s a reason so few people were willing to work with him even before all this happened.”

“Do you have any ideas for who you do want?”

“No.”

Tony’s ruined that, too. Since he can’t truly picture anyone else in the role now, besides having to deal with everyone wanting Tony to have the role, he’s going to struggle with picking someone to fill it. It won’t be fair to whoever he does pick.

“Why does he even want this? I mean, this particular role isn’t his usual. Captain Urban is a supporting character. No love interest, no big action scenes.”

“For right now. He identifies with the character, and apparently, there’s an arc in the comic books he really likes. I’d have to be willing to read them to tell you more.”

“So, what, he’s hoping to get the role, and then, someone will make a franchise out of the character for him?”

“I don’t know. There are reasons he wants this role I can’t go into, but one thing I can say is, he seems to genuinely feel a connection to the character. What about you? How do you feel about the character?”

“I like to picture him as softer and more vulnerable than Tony’s interpretation. Admittedly, though, his interpretation falls more in line with what the original creator was going for.”

Coming over, she plays with his curls. “I’ll get Tony to accept he’s absolutely not getting the role, and if you need help with damage control, I’m there.”

“Thanks, Natasha.”

She kisses his forehead. “After this one’s done, see about doing another romantic comedy soon, okay?

“You got it.”

…

He’s beginning to think this movie is cursed.

Tony had backed off, he’d gotten everyone, including Captain Urban, cast, and now, his choice, James Greenberg, has broken both arms and one of his legs in a rock-climbing accident.

When Natasha calls, he moans, “Why in the hell didn’t I put in a no rock-climbing clause?”

“You don’t believe in such clauses.”

“I should start. I should have. Anyway,” he takes a deep breath, “if you just called to check on me, I need to go. Do you need anything?”

“No. Hey, I have lemon pickles at home. I’m going to be in England for the rest of the week, but anytime you need to get away, let yourself in, okay?”

“Right. You’re going to see Clint. I forgot- Do you need a ride to the airport? Did you pack your-”

“Bruce. I’m fine. My PA made sure I’m packed, and I’m taking a cab to the airport. I need to start brushing up on my Arabic.”

“Call me once you get there, alright?”

“I will. And you call me ASAP if you need anything.”

…

“How much footage do we have of Greenberg?”

“Enough for two, possibly three scenes,” Daisy answers. “And none of them are the big ones. Not enough to use doubles.”

“Technically-”

“Dude, even if his accident wasn’t all over social media, there’s no way any halfway intelligent audience member wouldn’t see through it. And be pissed.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“No, I am. You know I am.”

He sometimes questions how and why he ended up hiring a juvenile delinquent quasi-surfer girl.

“Regardless, if I can get a rewrite excising the character-”

“What? No.” She gives him such a shocked, hurt look it almost makes him immediately apologise. “You can’t do that. Council of Superheroes needs him. Okay, Captain Urban wasn’t technically a founding member, but the fifty issues until his arrival and Private Mormont sucked. And sure, it makes sense not to have her, as awesome as she is, I’ve always thought it’d’ve been smarter to introduce her during Leigh Titan’s exile arc, but if you’re doing a prequel to the founding of the Council...”

There are positive sides to having an absolute fangirl on the crew, and then, there are times like this.

“Daisy, I care about making an adaption relatively faithful to the spirit of the comics, but there’s not much else I can do in this instance. Reopening casting would slow things down even more, and besides, most of the people who’d make a good second or third choice are already busy doing other projects.”

Frowning, she leans back in her chair. “I know, in principle, I hate the idea of contracts trying to control a performer’s free time off-set, but we ever do another superhero movie, I’m going to ride you hard about putting in things like no rock-climbing or dangerous sports.”

“Thank you,” he says. “And if I show signs of not listening to you, call Natasha Romanov to deal with me.”

…

When Natasha’s flight lands back in America, she calls him for a ride.

“Sorry to do this.” She tosses her bags in the trunk. “I should have booked a cab before I left England.”

“It’s not a problem. How was Clint?”

“We may or may not have broken into an animal clinic.” She nods in thanks when he opens the passenger door for her. “He sent you a tie.”

“Gaudy, loud, or a combination?”

Getting in, he puts on his glasses.

“A combination. Consider yourself lucky. If there weren’t strict laws against starting fires in planes and airports, I’d have already burnt the socks he gave me.”

“So, what’s the story with the animal clinic break-in?”

…

He’s carrying the last of bags into Nat’s apartment when a shirtless Tony Stark suddenly appears.

Managing not to drop it, he tries not to stare.

When Tony was nineteen, he and a family friend were in a car accident. The friend didn’t make it, but three surgeries later, Tony pulled through. Aside from a prominent scar over the heart area, there were no lasting physical signs of the accident.

There aren’t many who haven’t seen the scar, including him, but he’s never seen it in person.

“Huh. Bruce Banner.”

“Tony Stark,” he replies.

Short of Tony doing something extreme and crazy, there’s no way to tell if Tony is drunk or high. Maybe, someone properly trained can spot the subtle signs, but Tony’s gone years with many people being none the wiser. He’s caused public disturbances completely sober, and he’s shot scenes perfectly with no hint of the drugs or alcohol running through his system.

“Is Natasha around? Oh, and by the way, no, I’m not under the influence of anything with the arguable exception of the interest of some cat god or goddess.” He holds up a shirt and an empty water bottle.

The white shirt is covered in pools of green.

“I spilt this all over myself, and I forgot my phone at home. I was hoping-”

“Tony?” Nat appears.

…

He’s not sure why exactly he’s not leaving.

Finding one of his sweatshirts (hopefully, she’ll never tell Tony this part), Natasha says, “Here. Go take a shower, and after you’re done, I’ll throw your clothes in the washer.”

“Whose shirt is this?” Tony sniffs at it.

Admittedly, there’s nothing wrong with this question, but- “I’ll see you, later, Natasha.”

Starting to take off his pants, Tony says, “No need to run off. I’ll be gone soon.”

“Finish undressing in the bathroom, Tony,” Natasha says with a push towards said room.

On a logical level, he knows his discomfort is likely all down to him. Intoxication was responsible for most of Tony’s naked public escapades, but it’s no secret a sober Tony has no issues with personal nudity. Aside from this, Tony and Natasha have played love interests several times, and one of those times involved a fairly explicit sex scene.

As for him, he’s seen plenty of non-sexual nudity during scenes he’s directed, and Tony can’t exactly be blamed for thinking this would translate to him finding another man undressing in front of him completely unremarkable.

Natasha grabs his arm, and when the sound of the shower starts, she says, “Hey, stick around. He’s fine. Just a little non-functional when it comes to-” She pauses. “You and I haven’t had dinner in a long time. It’ll take your mind off the rewrite.”

The mere thought makes pain start to creep into the bridge of his nose, and taking off his glasses, he agrees, “Yeah, alright.”

…

He and Natasha are watching raw footage of Clint’s stunt work when Tony comes out in the sweater with a towel wrapped around his waist.

“You don’t need to wash my clothes. If you could just call me a cab or Uber or whatever mode of demand responsive transport is all the rage at the moment, that’d be great.”

She hands the phone to him. “Just a minute. Tony, let’s talk privately, okay?”

Tony moves out of her reach. “I’m fine. I’m not on anything. I was going for a run, thinking about Spritz’s newest discovery, and somehow, I ended up in your neighbourhood. Then, a black cat ran out in front of me.”

“Spritz is an idiot.”

He doesn’t mean to say this, but God, does he hate it every time that supposed scientist makes the news. If he were a scientist, he’d probably turn into an absolute rage monster whenever it happened.

Giving him an amused, slightly surprised look, Tony says, “Sure, he gives ‘eccentricity’ a bad-”

“No, he’s an outright idiot. And I’m not convinced he hasn’t almost detonated a nuclear bomb a few times.”

Natasha looks between them. “Who’s Spritz?”

“He’s a physicist who recently discovered a new element. Gotta give him that, at least, huh?”

“You solved Ryland Miller’s paradox while you were high on methadone and vodka.” Ignoring Natasha’s glare, he continues, “And I solved the Quasar equation when I was eight. He got lucky, which would be fine, but he constantly implies he has greatness running through his veins.”

“That was solved-”

“I was a foster kid who couldn’t figure out how the postal system works.”

He immediately regrets saying this, but before he can get up to leave, Tony’s sitting down. “You never tried to prove that it was you, though?”

“No, it didn’t really matter.”

“We’re going to come back to that, but: Spritz has been hinting he’s close to solving Nancy Chandler’s theorem.”

“It’s already been solved. Once the American Science Academy gets through verifying it and announces, he’ll shut up about that.”

Tony laughs. “What, you’re saying you have an in with them?”

“You don’t need to be affiliated to submit, and it’s listed as under review on their website, not that it’s likely Spritz has ever visited to see that.”

Rolling her eyes, Natasha says, “Okay, Tony, I’m going to throw your clothes in the washer. Bruce, I’m hungry now. You’re welcome to stay, but Tony’s staying, too, until his clothes are ready.”

The expression on Tony’s face changes, and he’s suddenly uncomfortable with the intensity of Tony’s scrutiny. Thankfully, due to the fact, every time he and Tony have been in physical proximity, either Tony’s thankfully ignored his existence, or Tony’s studied him the same way bullies did when he was a kid, he’s learned how to quickly suppress such feelings when they come.

“I’ll put them in, in just a minute. Are you, uh, saying you solved it?”

It doesn’t matter if Tony believes he’s capable of solving such equations and theorems or not, but at the same time- for all Tony’s attacked his suitability as a director and made personal attacks against him, so far, Tony’s never gone as far as to outright cast doubt on his overall intelligence.

“Nat, I’ll help you start dinner, but first, do you have some paper and pencil I could use?”

She sighs. “Seriously?”

“Remember that time I used your mascara and-”

Waving him quiet, she goes to get some, and he knows he needs to simply leave before-

“Here.” Natasha hands him paper and some pens. “I’m taking the clothes. No bloodbaths while I’m gone, boys.”

“Who, us?”

He hates the fact Tony Stark is so charismatic he can make two words so exasperatingly amusing.

Putting those feelings aside, too, he starts writing, and hearing Natasha coming back in, he hands the papers to Tony before heading to the kitchen. “What’s on the menu, Tasha?”

“How’s homemade Chinese sound, Tony?”

Tony gives some vague response, and in the kitchen, she quietly says, “Just a warning, Bruce: Tony might-”

Practically storming in, Tony demands, “You solved Chandler’s theorem but submitted it anonymously?” Then, turning to Natasha, he asks, “Hey, what’s my duty?”

“You’re a guest, Tony. You don’t need to-”

“I want to hear more about Banner here managing to solve the theorem and equation, and somehow, I don’t think you cooking dinner for two men all by yourself while they talk about what’s still largely considered a predominately male field is something that would ever be happening.”

“You’re in charge of measuring and getting the ingredients. Bruce, do the cutting and microwaving. I’ll do the stirring and man the stove.”

…

He’s sat on Natasha’s living room floor to eat many times, but he never would have believed there’d be a day when Tony Stark was sitting on the floor with them.

“So, why aren’t you ‘Doctor’ Banner?”

“Originally, I was going to be. I was in med school when my baby cousin, Jennifer, started college. She was taking some classes in drama, and when I visited her, she’d drag me along. That’s how I met Nick Fury.”

Natasha hands him the seltzer water, and he starts making her ginger lime fizz. “I knew on an abstract level how influential media could be on actual lives, but I got some first hand experience on how it could literally shape lives.”

He hands the drink over.

“Thank you,” she says.

“Then, I realised, as much as I love science, I didn’t want to deal with death in some form or spend all my time studying diseases. Other areas, they either get boring quick or do the opposite of helping people. Bringing stories to life never does the former. I started taking writing and other art classes, and Nick kept mentoring me.”

“What about your cousin? She become an actress or anything else in our world?”

“No. Jen’s a children’s advocate lawyer. She’s always been a lawyer at heart. Drama was just a way to unwind and have some fun. Meet new people.”

“Never heard that story in any of your interviews. Hey, you know how to do Safe Sex on the Beach?”

It takes him a few seconds to realise Tony is talking about the drink, thankfully, before he gives any verbal response, and he hopes his expression stayed relatively neutral, too.

“Bruce can make almost any drink.” Natasha stands. “I don’t have any cherries, but I think I have the rest.”

“You don’t need-” Tony starts, but Natasha’s already disappearing into the kitchen.

Getting up, he calls, “I’ll help.”

…

“This is delicious. Bartending part of your mysterious past? Or did Barton teach you some tricks?”

“Don’t start.” Natasha nudges him. “Those two will spend hours arguing over the proper way to make Chai Limeade.”

Pushing her foot away, he retorts, “At least, neither of us is uncouth enough to make any sort of tea using the microwave.”

Tony laughs. “Sounds like a close friend of my family. Don’t worry, he would have made any microwaves disappear if he found out anyone had ever used them to make tea. Of course, he was an old, upper-crust Englishman. What’s the source of your irritation when it comes to that?"

“I’m actually not sure-” Natasha starts.

He steals one of her larger chicken pieces.

Trying to squirt mustard onto his rice, she declares, “I have a key to your house.”

“And I have embarrassing photos and videos of you on the cloud.”

“Nice to see you two have such an equitable, if not healthy, relationship,” Tony comments.

Succeeding in getting some of the horrible stuff on his rice, Natasha shrugs. “I’ve told you, building healthy relationships doesn’t necessarily mean death and/or blackmail threats are a hard no.”

He dumps the spoiled rice into her soup.

“Is it the same between you and Legolas?”

“Worse,” he answers.

“You still got that stupid exploitation movie out.”

“Girl Like You is horror, and the point is, friendship shouldn’t require literally getting a passport.”

“Clint and I got into a prank war that got a little out of hand-”

He mostly manages to avoid snorting into his food.

“In Scotland. Bruce couldn’t just wire some money and talk to some people by email or phone, so, he flew down to help us out. Unfortunately, according to him, it screwed up the production schedule of Girl Like You.”

“It’s not my best movie, I’ll admit, but it’s not the exploitation flick everyone makes it out to be.”

“Yeah, it really is,” Tony comments. “I was sure the credits were a misprint or that there was another Bruce Banner I hadn’t heard of running around when I first saw it.”

“No one asked you.”

Giving a slight shrug, Tony finishes his drink. “Do you think there’s ever been a time that stopped me?”

“No, probably not. Want me to make you another?”

…

After Natasha puts Tony’s clothes in the dryer, the three of them load the dishwasher and clean the kitchen.

“Thanks for dinner. How’d you learn to make restaurant-style Chinese food?”

“A combination of luck, boredom, and being Clint’s friend,” Nat answers.

“What about you, Banner?”

“I’m usually good at following directions.”

Raising an eyebrow, Natasha shakes her head at him before saying, “He’s pretty talented in the kitchen, too.”

“Yes, it takes immense talent not to burn the building down while popping something in the oven.”

“You have worse self-esteem than interviews show,” Tony says. “Any other big-type scientific discoveries you’re secretly working on?”

“Oh, you know the usual, cold fusion, improving the state of vaccinations, maybe figure out the origin of the OMG particle.”

Tony grins at him, and relieved to see the roll of paper towels is too close to the counter’s edge, he turns away to move them.

“Is that what you’re doing with Urban? Are you going to explain his absence as he and maybe some others are off-planet?”

“Tony,” Natasha warns.

“I have a bet with a friend. Hearing I talked to Bruce Banner directly will help me collect early.”

“Assuming you’re right,” he says. “What does your friend think?”

“He thinks the movie just isn’t going to mention Urban, and maybe in different circumstances, this would be a safe assumption, but that isn’t your style. You’re going to give an in-universe reason, and realistically, him being off-planet is the best solution there is. And him chasing after the origin of some particle is as good as any, right?”

“Or I could sign you for the part.” Even knowing he could soon deeply regret the words, he continues, “If you’re still interested, that is.”

Natasha pops up from where she was organising the spices, and Tony- outside of roles, he’s never seen Tony look so surprised.

“What? Really?” Tony moves a little closer, and it’s more reminiscent of a skittish animal than the normal confidence he exudes.

Unable to help it, he sighs. “Yeah. Actually, there’s still debate going on about whether to say anything or not in the movie, and the off-planet idea’s been floating around. But the truth is, as talented as Hill is, I’m not sure any amount of rewriting can salvage this story without Urban. Add the fact you’re probably the only recast-”

“So, yeah. If you’ll stay sober and not cause any scandals during production, then, the part’s yours.”

“Tony, stay. Bruce,” she grabs him, “we need to talk.”

…

In the living room, Natasha studies him. “I’m not trying to dissuade you. I think this would be really good for both of you, him especially. But I need to ask: Are you sure about this?”

No, and- “It turns out I am a little desperate. And if I need to, I can run interference to keep everyone from having to suffer his attacks. What I need to know is: Can and will he stay clean, Nat? Or at least, not get himself thrown in jail during production?”

Her look turns icy.

“Obviously, I’m all for addicts managing to stay sober, but given my not-so-secret feelings towards him, there’s no point in trying to pretend I’m not more concerned with him screwing me over than anything else. If I need to make the set completely dry and implement drug testing, I will. But is he going to prove I was originally right to think this would be a terrible idea?”

“No,” she answers. “I’m serious about vouching for him, Bruce. He wants this badly, and if you give him the opportunity, he’ll rise.”

“Then, that’s good enough for me.”

“Tony,” she calls.

Tony comes in.

“If you want this, sit down. I’ll get some more paper, you two can draw up a rough preliminary agreement, and I’ll notarise it.”

Smiling, Tony plops down on the couch.

…

“Looks good to me.” Tony signs it, and then, offers his hand.

It’s not to late too back out, goes through his head.

Shaking the hand, he signs it, too.

One good thing he could always say about Tony was: Tony never bothered to pretend when it came to him. Tony’s never liked or respected him, and everyone’s always known this.

Now, Tony’s looking at him with something he’d call sincerity on anyone else. “Thanks for this.”

He’d prefer Tony to be arrogantly smug. Sure, he has the power to give or deny the role, but the truth is, this movie is going to out-sell any he’s done and likely ever will do, all because Tony Stark will be in it.

And when it’s done, if Tony wants to attack him even harder, it’ll be worse than it ever was in the past.

“If you make me regret this, I hope Natasha makes you regret more.”

Tony laughs. “Oh, don’t worry. I know she will.”

Smiling encouragingly, Natasha gives a firm nod before signing and dating the papers.

…

He’s barely arrived on set when Daisy is standing in front of him demanding, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why didn’t I tell you what?”

She jabs her phone in his face, and he doesn’t know whether to bang his head against the nearest flat surface or just accept his life is going to be a roller coaster for several months.

There are various news announcements about Tony Stark’s casting as Captain Urban.

“Well, he doesn’t waste any time, does he?”

Daisy doesn’t physically tackle him, but based on her expression, she does much worse to him in her head.

“I was planning to tell you as soon as we were both in. I need your help in getting certain things ready for all the changes this is going to bring.”

She looks marginally less homicidal. “That I can do. What first, boss?”

…

Arriving on time, Tony hands him a ginger tea and a pastry heart. “Here you go.”

“Thanks?” He briefly wonders how Tony would know what his favourite breakfast is, but then, he realises the answer is probably Natasha.

“The first thing you need to do is meet Daisy Johnson, our head editor. Just don’t piss her off, and hook-up with her at your own risk.”

Tony’s expression makes him realise how this might come out.

“She’s- a fan. And excellent at channelling her creativity towards scorched Earth responses when something or someone gets her genuinely angry.”

“Warning delivered.”

“It wasn’t a warning. Not exactly. Aside from the fan part, this is more-or-less what I tell every adult who’s going to be working closely with her.” He does generally try to couch it in more professional terms, but such subtlety would likely be lost on Tony.

A mischievous smile crosses Tony’s face. “Sounds like she’s a lot of fun.”

I already regret all my life choices, goes through his head.

They get to the editing room, and he quickly leaves the flirting birds alone.

…

When the set designers go out for lunch, he has his delivered, and he’s sitting outside in his chair when Tony appears with a yoga mat.

He manages not to sigh.

Things had been going so well the past week. Tony passed his first drug test, hasn’t pulled any ‘pranks’ on anyone, has gotten through several important scenes with no big problems, and his own interactions with Tony have been at a minimum.

Laying down the mat, Tony asks, “Got a minute?”

“Shouldn’t you be eating lunch? We need to wrap up by five today, and once the camera crew comes back, we need to resume filming almost immediately. If you need me to get you something-”

“I split a bag of gummy worms and had soda with Daisy this morning.”

It’s not my place, he tells himself. From everything he can gather, Tony usually eats fairly healthy, but recently, he’s had a bit of sweet tooth.

If he’s going to have to deal with a hyperactive or lethargic Tony, he can. He’s had a lot of experience with sugar highs and lows in other people. As long as he doesn’t have to deal with any alcohol or drug-fuelled escapades, he’s not going to verbally complain.

Starting to stretch, Tony continues, “My body’s still adjusting to normal meal times. I won’t be hungry again until later tonight. Work in process, right? We should talk about Urban.”

He goes back to his food. “What about him?”

“Do you think he’s in love with Chrissie Silverstone? Or will be?”

Do not show exasperation. Do not show exasperation.

“Tony, she’s in the movie for roughly five minutes. Urban has no love interest.”

More than this, the actress playing her is- fine. For the bit part, she’s perfectly serviceable. He personally doubts she’ll ever get any truly big roles, but he’s been wrong about such things before.

The last thing he needs, however, is Tony deciding to try to get her a bigger role due to whatever reasons Tony might have. Most likely, Tony either wants to sleep with her, or Tony just wants to establish some sort of dominance over him.

“You really don’t need to keep making it clear what my role isn’t. I’ve got it.” Tony does a handstand. “I’m just trying to figure out exactly who Urban is in this film.”

“Natasha’s said you’ve read some of the comics. I haven’t, and I don’t plan to. Your audition was impressive. The best I saw, to be honest. Just go with your interpretation of him.”

Even standing upside down, Tony manages to have the most annoyingly smug face imaginable.

It’s not good to feel the urge to kick one of your actors, he knows.

“Still, you know enough about him to have an opinion on his love life. Chrissie or someone else? Personally, I’ve always thought he was originally conceived of as bisexual.”

“But not care,” he says.

Flipping over, Tony gives him a quizzical look.

“It’s no secret I’m only doing this to cash in on the superhero craze. I’m not attached to any of the characters.”

And if he were, Urban wouldn’t be one of them. He’s learned the hard way that Daisy’s right about how important Urban is to this story, but much like his feelings towards Tony, he can acknowledge the character’s importance to the world without liking him.

“Really? You’ve always struck me as the type who read comics under the covers with a flashlight when you were a kid.”

There’s probably not a polite way to take his food and chair far away.

“What are your thoughts about publicity? I know Morgana Dayson would make room for us this week if-”

“Pub- Tony, I’m not doing publicity. If you want to,” he can’t stop him, and trying to discourage him would only make him more likely to, “you can, but you’re under absolutely no obligation.”

Tony can be great at publicity under certain circumstances, but there have been numerous times when he’s gone out of his way to be an absolute disaster.

“Everyone knows you doing this is incredibly uncharacteristic,” Tony quietly says. “People want to know why. I’ve been reading online, and a lot of people aren’t sure how good the film’s going to be, because, they think our relationship must still be incredibly antagonistic.”

Sarcasm would likely turn this conversation from uncomfortable on his end to bad on Tony’s.

“I don’t lie when I do interviews. If I have a problem with someone, I don’t hide it. Which, yeah, you don’t need to tell me that’s one of the big reasons you and Tasha are probably the only A-lister’s I’ll ever have attached to any of my projects. And if someone asks me why I did something, I either tell them or don’t answer. Somehow, I don’t see me explaining I was desperate and finally took the suggestion a good friend had been pushing is going to lay that uncertainty to rest.”

Tony shrugs. “There are ways it could.”

Thankfully, one of the set designers comes over to talk to him, and after a few minutes, Tony leaves.

…

Tony decides to go on Morgana Dayson’s show, and Nat insists he come over so that they can watch it together.

“It won’t be bad, Bruce.” She passes him the bowl of popcorn.

Sipping his soda, he wishes he were drinking something alcoholic.

However, the urge eases when Tony comes on. Tony is in playful, charming mode, and it turns out, he’s as much of a fanboy, or at least, gives the impression of being so, that Daisy is a fangirl.

When Tony’s segment is over, he exhales. “You were right. It wasn’t bad.”

“He mentioned you a lot.”

At first, the statement confuses him, partly, because, he doesn’t believe Tony did, but going through the interview in his head, he takes the remote to rewind the TV, and to his surprise, she’s right.

It’s the lack of scorn and personal attacks that threw him off. Everything Tony said about him was either neutral or, bizarrely, complimentary.

She smiles at him. “You know, if you did a few interviews with him, the film would break records.”

“No. I’m genuinely not desperate for that. As long as this gets out and makes up it’s budget, I’ll be thrilled. If Tony wants more, hopefully, he won’t screw up the chances this will bring him.”

“Fair enough. Some other professional advice you’re probably going to disregard?”

“How much of a choice do I have?”

“Throw in a shirtless or shower scene.”

It’s a good thing he didn’t have anything in his mouth. “Do what?”

She shrugs. “Tony would be up for it, and you know him being less than fully dressed always ups the popularity of any movie he’s in.”

“You’re right about me disregarding it.”

He knows there’s an extremely high chance she’s right about Tony being up for it. As far as he knows, Tony has never refused to do shirtless, bare bottom, or full frontal, and in fact, there have been stories of Tony insisting on having shirtless scenes added. He’s not sure how true it is, but he’s heard Tony and a director once argued bitterly over the fact Tony refused to wear modesty garments during a shower scene.

All the same, he’s always tried his best to be exceedingly careful when it comes to any sort of nudity involving actors and actresses. There’s no narrative reason to have Urban shirtless, and so, saying, ‘Hey, Natasha suggested you do a shirtless scene, would you be up for it?,’ just- no.

…

Of course, his conversation with Natasha isn’t the end of Tony possibly having a less-than-dressed scene.

“What if I did a shower scene,” is the first thing Tony says when they come in during the morning.

He doesn’t know if Tony and Natasha talk about these things or if the universe simply hates him.

“No. I’m not dealing with having the kids cleared off set for however long that would take.”

“Fair enough. What about a shirtless scene?”

He doesn’t even like coffee, and yet, he’s desperate for the headache numbing properties a rush of almost pure caffeine would bring. “Okay, Tony, here’s the deal: Go talk to Daisy. If you and she can find a place where Urban being shirtless would flow naturally, then, fine. But your, and by extension, his pants stay on during all scenes.”

“Got it, chief.” Tony wanders off.

…

Daisy and Tony find _several_ where Urban being shirtless would make sense within the narrative.

I am a director, he repeatedly tells himself. More than this, I have seen almost every angle of a naked Tony there is.

It turns out, reminding himself of the latter _doesn’t_ help.

Regardless of how he feels, he always tries to give people their due, and in Tony’s case: He’s talented, and when he wants to, his work ethic is impressive.

Otherwise, Tony is a sadistic bully. He grew up Hollywood royalty, he grew up handsome, and he uses both in combination with his talents to get away with doing whatever he wants, whenever he wants.

He wishes those times he’s seen pictures and videos of Tony had no effect on him. The thought of sleeping with Tony gives him no pleasure, but his traitorous body never fails to respond to seeing certain parts of Tony.

What does help is: Daisy, almost the entire female crew, and a good chunk of the male portion show up during Tony’s first shirtless scene.

Instead of getting her own chair, Daisy perches on the arm of his, and he’s treated to several whispers of appreciative comments.

After the scene, Tony bounds over, and he’s tempted to tell him to put his shirt back on.

Instead, he digs out his glasses before picking up the script pages.

Tony looks at Daisy with smug amusement. “I’d say I impressed the editor. What about the director?”

“Good job, Tony.”

“Is that a ‘yes’ or a ‘begone, meat suit’,” Tony asks Daisy.

Daisy smacks his shoulder, and trying not to sigh, he looks up. “If I had issues with your performance, we’d talk about it, Tony. But you’re not the only talented performer on-set.”

This earns him another smack.

Then, sinking down on the floor, Tony makes himself comfortable under Daisy’s fingertips.

He’s tempted to ask if there’s a shortage of chairs no one’s thought to tell him about.

“Don’t take it personally. Boss-man’s always been the ‘silence is how I show approval’ type. No wonder he hasn’t had a girlfriend in forever, huh?”

“The answer’s still no, Daisy.”

“Oh, c’mon, Jemma’s wicked smart, cute as a button, and she has the most adorable English accent. And if you two started to get serious, she might be okay with your insistence on non-monogamy.”

“What?” Tony looks up with a bewildered expression.

“She’s twenty- She’s in her twenties. I have almost three decades on her.”

“Non-monogamy?”

Sighing, Daisy leans back, and he catches her foot before she accidentally hits Tony. “Bruce doesn’t believe monogamous relationships are healthy.”

“That’s not what I’ve said. By and large, humans aren’t a monogamous species. The promotion of it has been used as a way to control women, condemn innocent children, and cause mental trauma in countless people. If two people agree to be monogamous, that’s their business, but I refuse to be in a relationship where neither of us being allowed to do certain things with our bodies is used to signal we love and respect one another.”

“But you were never with anyone else when you were with Dr Talbot,” she says.

“Because there wasn’t anyone I wanted to be with, not because I felt an obligation to be monogamous.”

Daisy shrugs. “Speaking of her, how’s Bree doing?”

He feels his mood lighten. “She’s doing great. I think I have the pictures Betty sent from her newest pageant.” Digging his wallet out, he finds them. “Oh, and she’s gotten even more girl scout badges.”

“Wow, she gets prettier all the time, doesn’t she? How old’s she now?”

Making an exasperated noise, Tony leaves.

…

When everyone’s wrapping up, Tony comes back over, and despite there literally being an empty chair right beside his, Tony again sits on the floor.

“We need to talk,” Tony announces. “Or I need to talk to you. Natasha offered to do this for me, but you know, there’s getting emotional support when you need it and leaning on someone as a crutch. Using a crutch can backfire. So.”

“On a personal level, you’re never going to like me. What with the laundry list of character defects, the litany of mistakes I’ve made, largely public- That’s fine. There are reasons I never wanted to be your friend or anything else, either.”

Leaning back on his elbows, Tony looks up at him. “But I am a damn good actor. You know this. I’ve been clean for 120 days. I can make this movie great. The thing is, though, silence when not pissed off doesn’t work for me. Trust me, that was basically my dad’s entire M.O.”

“In the past, there were times I wouldn’t have listened to the director. Who knows if I couldn’t have done better? It’s pointless to dwell on it. Now, I can’t give this movie my best if you and I don’t start doing more talking.”

Through the fog of irritation, he has to admit: Tony’s absolutely in the right here.

Some actors work better with minimal director input, and maybe, this has been the case for Tony in certain other roles, but here, an actor is telling him they need his input to fully bring a character to life. It’s his job to respond to this the best he can.

“Alright. Do you want to talk now or tomorrow?”

“Now’s good.”

“Then, could you please either sit in the chair or stand up?”

Practically rolling his eyes, Tony takes the chair.

“You’re going to need to start this conversation.”

Tony’s quiet for a minute. Then, he says, “I’m not complaining about the part or trying to make it bigger. But what makes Urban? What’s driving him here? Simple heroism is boring. Some heroes might be innately genuinely brave and selfless, but even they have things or people that play a part in motivating them. No girlfriend, no boyfriend, no close friendships, no family, what’s this guy’s deal?”

“You play him too confidently.” Resisting the urge to smack himself, he continues, “Or maybe, that’s not exactly the right word. You play him as if, whatever his deal is, he’s got it all figured out.”

“He’s an adrenaline junkie who’s teamed up with some people who have bonafided superpowers. I don’t think he could tell you what’s motivating him. I agree, everyone has something, but not everyone always knows what that something or someone is. Urban, the way I see it, he’s either trying to figure it out as he goes along, or he’s using the forming of the council and the threat of Swindell to avoid having to figure it out.”

He could swear Tony’s dark eyes are almost glowing.

“Okay, that definitely would have been helpful to know about twelve scenes ago, but I can make this work. Is there a starting point to where I could take this?”

“Where’d he get his scar?”

Tony’s eyes are bewildered.

He nods to Tony’s chest. “I know where, when, and how you got yours. But I doubt he was in a car accident when he was nineteen. So, what’s the story behind the scar? How does that story play into who he is now?”

Leaning back, Tony absently rubs at his chest. “Maybe that’s tied into him being an adrenaline junkie.”

“Could be,” he agrees. “Before or after?”

Suddenly, Tony’s stomach rumbles.

He knows he’s going to regret this, but given all the things he’s already done he’ll regret sooner or later, he decides, Why stop now?

Brutus’s Cafe is a nearby 24/7 diner that’s usually safe for celebrities and other people in entertainment to go to. It doesn’t get much business, and most people passing through are truckers, retiree tourists, and the occasional intoxicated college student.

“If you wanted, we could get dinner at Brutus’s,” he offers.

“Sounds good.” Tony hops out of the chair. “Your car or a cab?”

…

Tony had ordered a cheeseburger and fries with a root beer, and when his blueberry pancakes and French toast with lemonade come, Tony shakes his head.

“You have no room to talk,” he declares.

Physically, Tony’s in great shape, whereas, he has a disturbing amount of pudge and flab all over, but even before splitting candy and drinking soda with Daisy became a thing, he knows Tony often didn’t do normal meals at normal times.

“Just another surprising thing about you,” Tony says. “Hey, if you want any of these fries,” he pushes them to the middle, “feel free. Anyway, issue 38 is my favourite so far. I was thinking...”

...

By the time they’re done eating, they’ve worked out most of Urban’s backstory for the movie.

The fact he would have liked Tony under different circumstances, that he could have easily been fooled by him, isn’t surprising, and really, it’s not even irritating. Once upon a time, he could have been the victim of Tony-inflicted heartbreak, but instead, he’s just had to deal with Tony attacking him in much the way school bullies used to.

Like Tony said, there’s no point in dwelling on the past.

When the ticket comes, he takes it.

“I’ll pay for mine.” Tony pulls his wallet out.

“Let’s call this a peace offering, okay? Or a truce? You’re right, you’ve been doing your job without issue, and I haven’t been doing mine. I’m sorry about that.”

Tony’s quiet for a moment, and then, he says, “I’ll get the tip. Apology accepted.”

After he pays and Tony’s called for a cab, they go outside to wait.

“This went better than any date I’ve had in a long time. I’m not sure if the fact I’m a cheap date makes this better or worse. What about you?”

“I’ve never dated much. Single all through high school, three or four awkward dates in college, and then, I met Betty. We sort of just went from being friends to being in a relationship.”

“What about you and Natasha?”

“You know there’s never been anything between us.”

“I’ve seen the interviews of you both claiming that. I’ve never believed it. Did the breakup happen when she did her first movie under you?”

He doesn’t bother restraining himself from rolling his eyes. “Why wouldn’t you believe it, Tony? Even if you don’t believe I don’t lie during interviews, why wouldn’t you believe her? I met Natasha at a very bad time in her life. But she got better, and we became good friends. By the time we did Starlight, she and Clint had met, and if you don’t believe their claims that they’re not idiots completely in love with one another, then, well, you and I have something in common.”

Catching his eyes, Tony laughs. “Yeah, we do. That’s the only thing she’s told me I don’t believe. I, uh, asked her about you two, and she refused to talk about it. Even with her feelings for Clint, I- she still seems to have some for you.”

“No, she doesn’t. She never has. As for me, in a lot of ways, my relationship with her is similar to the one I have with my baby cousin, Jennifer. I worry about her, and I’m proud of her. Occasionally, she scares me.”

Tony’s cab arrives.

“Thanks,” Tony says. “Not just for dinner.”

Watching Tony get in, he waits until the cab disappears from sight to head home.

…

At lunch, Natasha gives him a tentative look. “Tony says things have been better between the two of you.”

“Yeah, they have. He’s been doing a great job.”

He almost asks if he should be worried about- Recently, Tony’s been showing clear signs of having an oral fixation. It isn’t causing a problem with any of his scenes, but he’s been over interviews and other movies Tony’s done, and it’s not something Tony showed signs of in any of them.

Most likely, it’s nothing to worry about.

“He is sorry about what he did to you. In the past.”

“Nat, I don’t care about that. We’ve both put it behind us. I’m lucky to have him, this version of him, in the film. As long as he sticks around, I’m not going to say or do anything against him.”

She nods.

“Anything new and exciting in your life,” he asks.

A small smile settles on her face. “This is hush-hush.”

He nods.

“I’m doing a screen test for a part in this new CW show. It’s a recurring role.”

“That’s great, Nat. What’s the character?”


End file.
